[While death wasn't nice to anyone, at least last week wasn't entirely personal. It had been early and while he had spoken to both Tsurumaru and Mary he hadn't felt any sort of real attachment outside of a sense of the whole thing being a little sad.
This time, however, things were different. These were people he had memories of and experiences with, and this was a person he actually started growing fond of and letting her get close. Losing Nana had been, in a way, a very drastic wake-up call.
When Emma finds him he's staring at a patch of orange flowers, not quite seeing what's in front of him. He's visibly rattled and jumps lightly when she speaks, turning his head to glance at her.]
[It's not easy. That's the problem, because this shouldn't be an issue. Kaoru had grown used to only keeping a handful of people in his pocket and everyone else at arm's length.
If this is how things are already, what's there to expect in weeks to come?]
Death isn't exactly something I have experience with. [Calmly.] Neither are trials, or corruption, or any of this. So I'd really like to know what is easy here.
It really, really sucks, yeah. [They can agree on that.] ...they really expect us to keep helping and listen to them after this? We might be better off on our own.
...maybe not with the group we have right now. There are a lot of us that are still really bad at working with other people unless forced. I suppose that's the one useful thing about trials.
Hisoka, for one? We can't trust anyone that's willfully going to withhold information. [He's still mad!] And anyone who seems to be more willing to cause a distraction than actually help.
Minato's not actually that bad, he just needs a constant babysitter. Or to be handcuffed to a bench. One of the two. At least he's not actively working against us either.
Then we find someone who'll act as a distraction to him being a distraction. That's the only thing I can come up with and at least it's easier than dealing with the Hisoka problem right now.
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This time, however, things were different. These were people he had memories of and experiences with, and this was a person he actually started growing fond of and letting her get close. Losing Nana had been, in a way, a very drastic wake-up call.
When Emma finds him he's staring at a patch of orange flowers, not quite seeing what's in front of him. He's visibly rattled and jumps lightly when she speaks, turning his head to glance at her.]
Oh, Emma. Hey. [...] ...they're nice, aren't they?
[Distractions are also nice.]
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[...]
You doing okay?
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[but, more importantly:]
Were you close with any of them? Maybe that's the better question.
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...Nana was perhaps the closest thing I could call a friend. She and Junna came to our house just a few day ago. And Tokidoki was...interesting.
[He wasn't boring, at least, and that's Kaoru's standard.]
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[But there's concern in her expression as he goes on, and then a pause.]
...I'm sorry. It's never easy, even if you haven't known them for long.
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If this is how things are already, what's there to expect in weeks to come?]
Death isn't exactly something I have experience with. [Calmly.] Neither are trials, or corruption, or any of this. So I'd really like to know what is easy here.
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[But...]
It sucks, doesn't it?
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[As easy as it would be to have someone convenient to blame.]
If we were alone, would it be any different?
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[unfair!!]
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[Hm.]
Maybe not actively, but the constant distraction of him being stupid might not help us out, either.
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[It's hard to know whether she's joking.]
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...those are my two concerns. Everyone else can be made manageable, I think.
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