[there's a pause at that - and she shakes her head.]
... you still don't know anything about me....
[but that's not emma's fault is it. lili's brow furrows and she looks down]
I was scolded often... but it was for my own good - I thought. To be locked up in my room was for my own safety... and for the safety of the people around me.
Because wherever I go, someone else gets hurt. One of my attendants suffered an injury so terrible she couldn't fight for months, even though she was tasked with protecting me. My stupid mistake got my friend and I kidnapped, forced into labor, taunted and tortured by soldiers -
She nearly died because I was an idiot...!
And I thought that finally - I, I was in a place where no one would suffer because of me...!
[where no one would care about her, where her cowardice wouldn't keep her from being useless, where she could finally make up for all the mistakes she'd made]
I always put Kaoru in danger - I messed up my eye so badly that I made a lot of people worried. I don't even know how I'm going to face people at home if I make it back..
I couldn't do anything for so many people... I'm still not strong enough to really help.
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Well, would you say anyone else who needed reassurance every now and then is weak?
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[because she can't disagree with that, and she just looks off to the side]
I make a lot more mistakes than the average person.
[she cries a lot more than the average person - or at least, she did. she thought she was over that]
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[There's a healthy dose of skepticism in her voice.]
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... you still don't know anything about me....
[but that's not emma's fault is it. lili's brow furrows and she looks down]
I was scolded often... but it was for my own good - I thought. To be locked up in my room was for my own safety... and for the safety of the people around me.
Because wherever I go, someone else gets hurt. One of my attendants suffered an injury so terrible she couldn't fight for months, even though she was tasked with protecting me. My stupid mistake got my friend and I kidnapped, forced into labor, taunted and tortured by soldiers -
She nearly died because I was an idiot...!
And I thought that finally - I, I was in a place where no one would suffer because of me...!
[where no one would care about her, where her cowardice wouldn't keep her from being useless, where she could finally make up for all the mistakes she'd made]
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[There are a lot of things she could say to that, but it's difficult to speak to what might have happened back in her home - instead...]
What do you think you've done here that's made things so much harder for other people? You've been helping.
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I couldn't do anything for so many people... I'm still not strong enough to really help.
[and she hates it. she hates every second of it.]
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I get the feeling that’s the only thing you’re letting yourself see. What about all the things you’ve done to help, huh?